20 tough questions about my gambling the last 12 months

Gamblers Anonymous offers the following questions to anyone who may have a gambling problem. These questions are provided to help the individual decide if he or she is a compulsive gambler and wants to stop gambling. I will try to answer honestly (blue text).

1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling? Yes.
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy? Yes.
3. Did gambling affect your reputation? Yes.
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling? Yes.
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties? No, but I used money on gambling that should have been used to pay bills.
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency? Yes, at least eficiency at work.
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses? Yes. That is the reason for reloading several times per day. See my gambling pattern here.
   
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more? Yes. I seldom managed to leave the table with a big win. I continued and then lost all.
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone? Yes.
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling? Yes, a couple times from my friend “Troy” (poker buddy), but I actually managed to win some money and pay him back very quickly.
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling? No.
12. Were you reluctant to use “gambling money” for normal expenditures? Yes.
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family? Yes.
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned? Yes. Several times through the entire night.
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry, trouble, boredom or loneliness? No.
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling? No.
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? Yes, I remember one time I was so frustrated after loosing that I couldn’t fall asleep. I had to stand up and return to the online poker table to try to win back my losses.
18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble? No.
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling? No.
20. Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling? No.

Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions. I answered yes to 13 of them.

I realize that my gambling the last 12 months has been far from healthy, and that I need to take a break, and also fix my personal economy – which has suffered hard this year.